Since I got back...

A lot of things have happened but most seem irrelevant. I got home, I saw friends, we played games and spent time together. It felt good. Particularly moving was my time spent with the band. So far there have been two rehearsals and a gig. We were there in support of the Wurzels and Suzi Quatro.
I've been to the Chinese supermarket and I've obtained supplies. While I eat English food I can still indulge in something close to my Japanese vices. Daifuku isn't available but there are other mochi substitutes. My gaming desires are now being fulfilled via a ceiling mounted projector with glorious sound-system.
Most relevant of all is that I've just spoken to Chieko. While we've maintained a steady stream of e-mails this was the first time we managed to actually arrange the previously planned daily phone call. Since I'm visiting a friend out of town I decided I'd simplify and call her on Skype. We talked and I found that my Japanese hasn't faded and is much stronger than I thought it would be over the phone. I may even buy a Skype number or subscribe to Japanese phone calls depending on how convenient they turn out to be.
She's sending me some Furikake. While I'm certain I'll enjoy eating it, it's more of a symbolic gesture. It shows that I'm still connected. Mitsuhiro also e-mailed me. Soon it will be time for me to set up some more permanent way of communicating.

Flight

Directly after finishing the previous post I shut off my laptop and walked onto the plane. I sat down and got ready for a long flight.
Soon after I was asked to move to the seat in front of me because it was by the emergency exit. This meant I was being begged to go to a more comfortable seat with unlimited leg room. Me and the young man I was sat next to moved up. The plane began to take off and the steward sat down next to us. He was called Aran, no relation, and he was the gayest man I have ever met. The other male member of the crew was gay but Aran had him outdone. The previously mentioned young man next to me was what most people would call "Vanilla". This is an insult to a good flavour. He was nice but unbelievably boring. Despite having lived in Japan for a year he had absolutely nothing of interest to say. He seemed impressed with himself for having a Japanese friend. This prompted the reply "Really? After only one year?" from me. My uncontrolled outbursts blew right past him as he replied that his friend was not just Japanese, he was from Osaka no less. "Well I hear that is in Japan" was the subtlest answer I could give. The flight got going and soon we were in the air. I played my games and flicked through the films. I watched Iron Man and found it pleasant. After the first few hours I moved to my original seat because it meant I had two seats to myself. I failed to sleep but I was a lot more comfortable.
Time passed along with meals. Very little of note happened. While in the air it seemed I couldn't remember anything from the past six months. It felt like the plane was sealing me off from the past.
The plane began to descend. I could see the countryside, the cities. Everyone returned to their seats and some awkward conversation began between me, Aran and Mr Bland. The instant the seat-belt sign clicked off I got up, grabbed my bag and left without a word. I moved smoothly through the plane to the exit. Then I stepped off.
For months my life has been recorded. Catalogued by thousands of photographs and a constant log of events. Ironically my trip has caused a break down in my normal method of memory. My e-mail account is comparatively bare, normally everything is saved and stored there, every e-mail is logged, stored and locatable. My phone became my primary communication device and as a result there is a six month block of near inactivity, thousands and thousands of message that are simply gone.
Now I have to decide what to do, how to function. Now I have to start again. Maybe not just yet. Maybe after I play some video-games, see some friends and do all the things that six thousand miles gets in the way of.
For now I have one true memory, the moment I got on the plane a voice in my head said "It's really ending". Less than an instant later a bigger voice silenced it and said "Nothing ever ends".
I can't stop smiling.

Flight

Gone

Right now I’m sitting at boarding gate twenty-five. My flight will begin boarding in under an hour.
Last night was the final goodbye to Chieko. I met her at half seven by the Maranouchi exit of Tokyo station. We walked to the place she knew I wanted to go. Of all the places in Tokyo we went to the most effective. We went to the tabehodai. I could have eaten anything on my last night instead I ate everything. We sat and talked like I wasn’t going to leave. We talked about food, grammar and all the things I’ve done. I ate constantly. I monopolised the okonomiyaki, I inhaled the sashimi and I ate konyaku without any seasoning. I took giant bowls of tofu and Udon. Sashimi was served in tasteful bowls each of which had only two slices. This attempt to deter me seemed more like a challenge. For desert I concentrated on wagashi and Japanese specialties. Next to us a pair of co-workers were eating. An American man and a Japanese woman who spoke strong American English. Their talk was full of buzz words and inanity. We sat and pretended not to listen to the stream of braggadocio that came from both participants. Every now and then we would try not to laugh. At one point someone in the room had a birthday cake delivered with great ceremony.
She seemed happy to see my strong appetite was still intact. Time shifted and eventually I could eat no more. We got up and left.
It was still early so we walked towards the apartment. Chieko wanted to go to a supermarket first. We went into a small convenience store and I picked up four boxes of pocky and some Hello Kitty sweets, Tokyo’s local brand that are only available from the station.
Then we walked through the streets to the apartment. We stopped at the Pororoca. Chieko wanted to buy me a parting gift. The gift was food. She spent time selecting appropriate materials to make mochi and she bought some daifuku. Then she began looking for things I couldn’t get in England. As we passed the ramen section she saw some pokemon branded kids ramen. She looked at it and I promptly named all the creatures splashed on the casing. She smiled and picked it up. A large pair of instant meals that came with their own Pikachu knife and fork. I was in a daze; it was similar to the end of my first day over six months ago. I was sleepy just like I had been six months ago and I was excited too. We walked to the apartment and I packed the new items neatly away. She checked everything was OK and we discussed where to leave the key. We went downstairs and decided the letterbox was a suitable location, preferably secured to the top by a plaster.
Then it happened. We said goodbye. It wasn’t dramatic or over emotional. I got in the elevator and waved. We said we’d see each other again and the door closed.
In the apartment I arranged everything, set things charging and sent some e-mails. With the help of Shoko I found a good way to say “Thank you for everything” and wrote it out on a small piece of paper in hiragana. Then I got into bed and failed to sleep.
A few hours later I got up and had a shower. I double checked everything and then walked out. The key and note was placed in the letterbox. My bags didn’t seem heavy and the trip to Ueno was pleasant. I used up the remaining change I had and money on my Suica on drinks from the vending machines.
Then I talked to the woman at the ticket desk just so I could use my Japanese. I bought a ticket, went through the gates and got on the rapid. The instant I’d gone through the gates things were slightly different. I’d entered Japan for the first time through those gates looking for nothing other than a payphone. The train was quiet and almost empty. Once it started I realised I was beyond the going back point. I could get off at any station on the way to Narita but I wouldn’t. The view was just like my inbound journey but reversed. The same roofs, the same fields and the same stations passed me by.
I’d sent an explanatory mail to most of the people in my phone book. Within seconds I had a reply. More came in constantly. Several were from people I haven’t seen in months or barely know. A few simply said “Thank you” while others had more detail.
In the airport I acted quickly. I got through the security check and up into the departure lounge. Check-in wasn’t going to open until half eight so I had almost an hour to wait. I felt like I was going to disperse into my component parts. Every single part of me wanted to move, dance and sway. I listened to music and found that I was getting odd looks from the passengers around me. I couldn’t stay still and I was glad. I checked my phone and found more e-mails, a missed call and an answer phone message. Chieko had called while I’d been hauling my bags. I called her back straight away and experienced the real emotional goodbye. She wanted to know everything was OK and that I was there on time. I told her it was all fine and everything was going perfectly. It was an awkward conversation, I’m not good with communication in general and phones are a particular problem for me. She asked me to e-mail her when I got home, send her pictures and news. She said she would call me every day so I could keep my Japanese strong. Then it came time to check-in. I said goodbye and hung up the phone. This did not stop the emotional torrent as I received an e-mail from her soon after. Mie sent one too. It told me that she’d enjoyed seeing Japan through my eyes, Eiji reported in saying he wanted to drink sake with me sometime soon.
I checked my bags, they were slightly too heavy but I smiled at the man behind the counter. He placed extra fragile tags on my guitar and asked me the questions that were required. I went to the security check and went through quickly and efficiently. For the first time ever the metal detector didn’t go off. Then the immigration desk was next. The man was serious looking but the instant I used some humorous Japanese he lightened up. He asked for my “foreigner identity card” and I asked if he meant my “Gaijin cardo”. He smiled and said he’d need to take it. Until I came to Japan I have never once carried a legal picture ID. Now for the first time in months I don’t have one in my pasmo case. My passport is with me but it feels ungainly and the picture is out of date.
I walked through to my boarding gate and began writing this entry. In ten minutes the plane will board. My phone will be turned off and I don’t know for sure it will operate at all in England. The things that have become normal to me here are now just dead matter. My Yodobashi point card, my Suica card, my phone and other trinkets are now trinkets and nothing more.
They will remain so. Until next year.

Phone post - Empty pasmo case

I'm at the boarding gate. They took my gaijin card. It's just a wedge of plastic but my pasmo case feels empty.

Phone post - Support

When I got on the train I sent a generic message to almost everyone in my phone's address book. It essentialy said "I'm leaving Japan today. Please use my PC address. Goodbye." and that was all.
Within a minute I had a reply despite the early hour.
It's now two hours later, I'm at the airport and I'm still getting replies.
Thank you everyone.

Phone post - Circle

I'm sitting on the rapid for Narita.
It will leave in ten minutes.

Leaving tomorrow

I`m in the Apple store. I got my bags to the apartment with relatively little stress. They`ve been mildly rearranged so they`re lighter and easier to carry. I foresee no problems tomorrow.
The woman who came to inspect the apartment was nice. She was practically the definition of "Bubbly". She spent more time talking to me than she did inspecting the apartment. I`d cleaned and prepared it so there was no worry there. She did find the one flaw almost straight away. The grate across the window to keep insects out was loose. She opened the window while exclaiming how hot it was and the entire shield promptly collapsed. I froze for a moment and then chose the simplest lie. I told her I`ve never opened the window before. She laughed and believed me. I then partially fixed it and she said she hoped no one would notice. I waited for a few awkward moments while she inspected everything. She noted the dust on the cup and glass that I`ve never used but that seemed more of an amusement than a problem. She handed me twenty thousand yen in cash for my deposit. I had been hoping they`d send it to my account to avoid exchange rates and effort but it`s not a real problem.
Once I`d put my bags down in the apartment I went out. I found a local Pororoca with better stock than either of my previous local ones. Here I did the predictable. I bought wagashi and ate it sitting on the wall outside. Music filled my head as I sat watching a silent street-scene while eating delicious anko filled joy snacks. I rationalised this purchase by explaining to myself that I was getting rid of some of my awkward change. This was nothing but propaganda to explain away the actions of an addict.
Soon I`ll meet Chieko for the final goodbye. It feels fake considering we`ve already discussed the things we`ll do when I come back.
In a sense my habit of always bein early has created a surreal atmosphere for these last days. I finished all my major goodbyes earlier than I needed to. Now I`m drifting in a twilight state. I`m still here but I no longer live here.
I`m just here. Right now that`s enough. Right now it feels good.

Phone post - Moved out

A nice lady arrived.
She seemed more interested in talking to me than inspecting the apartment.
After some checking she handed me my security deposit. It's in cash which is a little inconvenient.

Twenty four little hours

My flight leaves in twenty four hours. Right now I'm waiting for my apartment inspection. Everything is packed and ready. They're already late so I'm expecting them any moment now. Then there'll be an uncomfortable trip accross town with my large baggage. It's heavy but I think it's within the weight allowances. At half seven I'm meeting Chieko by Tokyo station.
I feel strange. Happy. I'm looking forward to simply sitting in my comfortable room when I get back to England. Cockroaches and ants don't phase me but the mattress here prevents me from sitting of lying comfortably. As a result I have to alter my pose every few minutes to prevent spinal injury. In about twenty seven hour I'll be able to sit on my own soft mattress in a cool, quiet room.
Everything feels surreal. Everything always does.

Lazy day and a meal in Roppongi

I spent the day obsessively organising things for tomorrow. A new plan has formed. Rather than leaving my bags in a coin locker tomorrow I'll be doing something much more convenient. Chieko, to add to her already glowing reputation, offered me the use of her spare apartment. I'll drop my bags there after I move out and sleep there later on.
Once I'd packed everything and organised things I went to the shop and spent almost a thousand yen on Wagashi. I was half way through eating this when the show I was watching needed to buffer. I decided to stop eating and go to Ginza. It was still the early afternoon but I'd arranged to meet Chieko at eight. I killed time in Bic Camera, the Apple store and a music shop. Time passed quickly and soon I was standing outside the imposing Chanel building.
Chieko popped up next to me and almost instantly we were off. I felt excited, this was the first time I'd been out with Chieko in Tokyo for a while. It was also the first time we hadn't been going to meet someone and this felt appropriately cyclical given that I'm coming to the end of my trip. We took the Hibiya line to Roppongi and headed to a famous restaurant. Chieko told me that George Bush had once eaten there and while I may dislike the man I was sure the Japanese government had taken him somewhere nice.
The streets were full of foreigners and it felt a little odd. Being English I naturally despise most western tourists as they tend to follow the depressing stereotypes lain down by England. We walked into the place and soon we were seated in a nice corner. Food was ordered and served course by course. While we ate delicate morsel after delicate morsel we talked and it was the best kind of talk. We discussed modern life, the fickle nature of people, politics and a a variety of other things. In an odd way I'd missed these discussions. They give me the chance to not only have a good conversation but to practice Japanese without fear.
I ate chicken, maguro, and prawn. Each was delicious. After that I had a bitter yet tasty desert which utilised green tea as a flavour. Everything was good and we made more plans. She told me that Japanese airports tend to close check-in two hours before the flight. This means I'll be leaving too early for her to come with which is a pity but I'll be seeing her again tomorrow night. She also said Takashi had tried to come to the party on Sunday but hadn't been able to. I felt a little sad I hadn't managed to see him again. She was already discussing what we would do next year so I know I'll see him again. She handed me her key and we walked out of the restaurant. We walked to Hiro-o station while the conversation continued. I was asking about myths and legends, primarily relating to the wind.
We separated at the station and I took the subway home. I ran into a shop just before it closed and picked up their single cheapest piece of wagashi at half price.

Dinner with Cheiko in Roppongi

Getting close

Today was a strange day. First I added credit to my phone, then I took the Yamanote line to Hamamatsucho. I went into the Pokemon center and began worrying about money. I knew I had to get something and it had to be a "Pokemon center original" item. I had to get something because it's the Pokemon center and I'm in Japan after a lifetime of being everywhere else.
I walked in a daze around until I decided I had to buy something. I was severely tempted by a t-shirt, one of the new editions. They were just a little too expensive so I passed. In the end I bought a small box of cookies which come in a nice tin and some hard candies in individual tins. The actual foodstuffs are fairly irrelevant.
Once this was done I began walking. I walked to Ginza and then cut through Hibiya park. After a while I decided I should spend some money. I had yen left and the exchange rate is lousy. I took the Hibiya line to Akihabara. I knew what I wanted to buy. I bought Rythm Tengoku Gold and Jump Ultimate Stars. Together they cost me about seven thousand yen after I used all my remaining gold card points. I was experiencing the old panic but I pulled through. I wanted those items and sometimes that should be reason enough.
I decided to go crazy and used some of the Soundrop machines. I aimed for Mario Galaxy and Phantom Hourglass sound effects. I ended up spending a further two thousand yen. This would have been enough to cause a true panic if I didn't have a strict reason. They're good as gifts. I walked about slowly and eventually left the store.
I walked to Ueno for no real reason. While there I checked the coin lockers. Eight hundred yen will buy me a place to put my bags the day before I leave. I haven't made any plans but I know it will be a juggling act.
I went to Super Potato. Games are important to me and it felt like I was home in an odd way. I was surrounded by familiarity and nostalgia. I did what I'd done before. I played the demos, rifled through cartridges and I closed my eyes. I could hear so many things. It was like I was surrounded by digital rain.
I walked out into a cool evening. I knew I should pick up another Japanese book to learn from so I went back to Yodobashi. I went upstairs and into the books section. A few simple questions lead me to the right section. There was nothing as good as the one I already have but I picked up a general grammar book. I'm now at the stage where can use it to form my own exercises and check them with friends.
I walked home in the haze. I took a random route but found I knew the way too well to get lost. Later in the evening I got some half price wagashi and ate it while playing my new games. I'm completely inundated with digital delight.
Life is beautiful.

Phone post - Last call

Today I'm finishing up in a lot of respects.
I went to the pokemon center and bought some small souvenirs.
Now I'm on my way to Akihabara to pick up some games and geek memorabelia.

Flowers, Yakiniku and Goodbye

I woke up late today. Once I finally managed to get up I showered and walked to Shinjuku. I took a long route via Shin-Okubo. On the way I bought some chocolate mixed with peanuts. I went through Shinjuku to Yodobashi camera. I spent time looking around and considering what to buy before I go. A young boy and his father were trying to figure out how to control a demo DS. The boy scrabbled at the non-touchscreen while I watched. I walked by and flicked touchscreen causing the game to burst into life. The father burst out laughing and gave me an exaggerated thumbs up.
I walked about Shinjuku for the better part of an hour just looking at things. Once the time was close I jaunted over to Yoyogi. I sat outside the lesson and looked at my phone. There were messages asking me to have a good trip. Soon Mie arrived and we waited for someone to exit so we could enter.
We went up the stairs and rang the doorbell. The door was opened by a student I recognised from before. We stepped inside and two students instantly left, asking us to have a good lesson. It was just us and the teacher. Teika sensei wasn't there but her second in command was. We prepared our things and set to work. Today we had tomato stalks, sunflowers and small ferns. Subject and object were free choice this time. The tomatoes were strong so I used them as my subject first. I placed on tallest stalk in the middle and set to work. My first attempt was well received and only mildly rearranged. I dismantled and started again. This time the teacher didn't even sit down. I had succeeded and she saw no need to rearrange or scrutinise. She even clapped. I was proud but also faced with the realisation that any I would now have to destroy my work. Before I got to Tatsuya arrived. I felt unusually glad to see him and he set up his more advanced set. Mie had been working on a different style so I began to change mine too. I slanted everything to the side and draped the tomatoes over the rum of the bowl. This received praise so I kept going and produced another two variations. The teacher bustled about in the flower room and came out with another bundle. She told us that one student had been absent so we could use their spare flowers. This was exciting because I was actively being encouraged to improvise outside of the usual rule set. The teacher asked me when I leave and let out a sigh when I said Friday.
I selected two tall, pink stalks. They were like rhubarb but more graceful. Through a succession of quick refinements I created a more and more detailed arrangement which used all the components. I had been encouraged so much that I decided I should play some kind of trump card. All savants are notable for using some kind genius groundbreaking technique. I used the long stalks in the most inventive way I could. Like many plant stalks they were partially hollow. I used them to house single reeds, this allowed me to create far more detailed arrangements using smaller components. Finally I took the leaves from a discarded flower and placed them individually to cover all the starting points of the stems. The teacher watched as I obsessively checked every leaf and pruned outlying stems. I stepped back and expected to watch my creation be destroyed for his outlandish use of my new technique. There was a silence as Mie and Tatsuya crowded round. Then there was a celebration of the "nice balance" my piece had achieved and how interesting my idea had been. I had done it, in the most manly way possible I had owned flower arranging.
We packed up slowly and wrapped out flowers. My bundle was large, cumbersome and beautiful. We walked out into the night and said good-bye to our teacher. We walked in the direction of the station and for a moment I thought that would be it. I thought we'd say good-bye, they would take the train and I would walk into a calm Tokyo night. I was wrong and I should have known they wouldn't let things go like that. There was a silence before Tatsuya smiled and said "tabehodai". We walked round a corner and along a street. It wasn't just tabehodai, it was yakiniku. Up the stairs we waited to be seated, the place was busy and had a nice view of the Yamanote line. We sat down and I noticed the crazy modern ordering system. A small handheld terminal sat to my right, numbers were tapped in and food came forth.
Before we really got started Mie handed me a bag. It had home made Miso in it. It sits in my fridge now, keeping cool until it will make the journey home with me. I thanked her but was interrupted by beer and meat landing in front of me. Meat was piled on the grill and I named the types for Tatsuya. We began to drink and eat. All the time more meat was arriving and being piled on. Soon I was eating fresh, hot meat and drinking cold beer. We laughed and cooked. They asked me if I wanted another beer and I hesitated. They told me it was nomihodai too so my restraints were removed. I moved onto Japanese style sour cocktails. Time moved on but there were no constrictions to how much we could eat or drink. Eventually Mie slowed but continued to nibble. We were now on the third set of tofu and the second set of chicken. Liver was just about cooked and thick cuts of beef were half way done. Tatsuya stopped and announced he was full. He had exhausted himself and sat in a near trance, a boyish smile on his face. Mie ordered up some squid and yet another cocktail for me. I'd eaten some rice but tried my hand at ordering more. It was remarkably easy and my order arrived almost instantly. The squid was being cooked and I was finishing off the remaining meat. Mie asked if I wanted anything else and I tried to decline. Somehow two yaki onigiri were ordered. Tatsuya went and got a drink which I'd seen before. It's called "White Water" and the description is accurate. Despite the rather unpleasant name it's fruity if a little strong. The onigiri were gradually cooked while we talked and Tatsuya lay his head on the table. I ate the remains and drank some more before we left.
We walked out while laughing. Tatsuya looked sleepy but happy. We got to the station and photos were taken. They walked through the barrier but I paused. I was going to walk home so this was where we were going to say good-bye. The barrier added some unnecessary symbolism but dramatics aren't always a bad thing. We bowed and shook hands. I was made to promise I would see them again. If they come to England then there's nothing that will stop me seeing them. I walked slowly away before turning back and waving. It was a real good-bye. They were the last of the Ontake studio so in a sense I was saying good-bye to them and to everyone else connected to them. I would round the corner with a bag full of Miso and flowers.
On the way home I stopped to buy Wagashi as a form of comfort. I looked at my photos and made plans.

Flowers, Yakiniku and Goodbye

Leaving party

Last night was my leaving party with the OnTake crew. It felt strange.
I went to Shin-maruko station. Obviously I was early so I sat on a bench and played games. I took a brief walk around the station area and bought a single Imagawayaki to eat.
Time passed quickly and soon I heard my name. I looked up and saw Kei and Mitsuhiro. We said hello but didn't get far before we spotted Honda. He was accompanied by his wife and child. His wife prodded the child who eventually managed to introduce himself in English. I was introduced to spouse and child and we all set off. The streets were fairly cool out of the city so it was a relaxed walk. On the way I talked with everyone and Honda's son ran about between us. It wasn't long before we were close to the river and we stopped by a nice looking building. Mie emerged from a door half way up and greeted us all. We quickly moved up and past the door she had come out of to the roof. It was a rather large terrace style rooftop. It overlooked her landlords English style garden. It was wonderful.
We didn't pause for long as Mie went back to cooking and preparation while the rest of us helped with various things. Me, Kei and Mitsuhiro began to pack a massive cooler with Hoppy and Beer. This posed a problem as the volume of drink was greater than the volume of the cooler. Honda's sun was running around playing games with Mitsuhiro and I joined in. He pointed out that I was taller than Honda who was in turn taller than him. I upset the natural order by lifting him above my head. His mother was heading down towards the river so the kid followed her. Honda paused before following his son. I was alone on the roof for a while so I partially set up my laptop with the projector that was sitting on the ground. A screen had been made by taping large sheets of paper to the wall. I went downstairs and found Honda getting two baseball gloves from the apartment. This was the first time I'd actually been inside. Mie welcomed me in so I took of my shoes and stepped in. The entrance hall was crowded because Tatsuya was showing Honda's son a box. Tatsuya had been looking at fireworks on the internet during the last lesson. The box had a variety of explosive and flammable things inside it.
I walked into the main apartment. It was neat and large. Meg was inside cooking. I did the usual thing one does when entering a friends house for the first time I said how nice it was. Mie showed me a stone frog that sat by the door. I decided I should talk to Tatsuya. He was looking well, recently he'd looked happy but tired. It seemed he'd had a chance to relax while back in Tokyo. We all talked before me and Tatsuya went to the roof to finish setting up the projector. Since both of us have some experience in doing so it wasn't very hard.
While we were doing this Ozawa and Shikasaku arrived. Briefly after they were followed by Takashi. I put my laptop on a chair and we got the projector angled. It was still a little to bright for any real definition but we calibrated and it was ready to go. Everyone was now coming to the roof and almost exactly when everyone was gathered Eiji's head materialised as he came up the stairs. Everyone was there so we began to eat. There was chicken, salad, naan, curry, rice with sashimi and avocado, rice and shrimp in pineapple halves and the previously mentioned cooler full of drink. We ate and talked. At some point I remembered I'd left the projector on a static image and set it to go through a slideshow. Mie sprung up and turned off the light so it could be viewed properly. People soon began to grow quiet. An intimidating silence formed. It was broken by Kei as he asked a question. This caused a cascade and everyone had questions about almost every photo. I fielded them as best I could. Now they were talking I felt more relaxed. They reacted as a group to different photos, naming the places they knew and asking who the people were. I felt strange but in the best of ways. I was eating good food with great friends and they all wanted to know what I'd done with my time in Japan.
We'd been eating for a while when a single drop of rain hit Honda's wife. Then some more hit the table. This caused a panic, food was gathered and wires were disconnected. The rain hit hard and fast but all electrical items were safe and most of us were only mildly dampened before getting inside. We sat about in the apartment while everyone laughed. Meg and Tatsuya were still gathering food. Eiji insisted that the remaining pineapple be saved. It was and while some people were designated for further cooking and cleaning I was told to sit down with Eiji ad Honda. We talked and ate. Kei poured more drinks and some music was put on. Me and Ozawa discussed Bristolian music and Kei joined in. We kept talking, drinking and eating. At some point Takashi's wife arrived. I was introduced and the conversation stepped up. I was now talking to more than one group and listening to gossip about me. Honda's wife asked me about Homeopathy in England and this lead to a long discussion. I talked to Eiji about a variety of things and in a sense it was a lesson. He would for a sentence and I would shuffle it into the right order. During this there was still food so I kept eating. To my mild surprise Chieko arrived. I realised it was been a while since I'd last seen her. She'd come straight after work to see me. She handed me a T-shirt and a keitai strap. They were from Chigasaki. This started a conversation between her and Ozawa who's also from Chigasaki. There was talk and I could tell people were discussing my age.
After a long time it was time for Honda's child to get some sleep, he'd had an active evening and playing. Before he went the weather was checked and he played with a sparkler on the balcony. I said good-bye and he looked sad. Chieko told me to reassure him that I'd see him again. I bent down and snatched him up. As I held him high above everyone else I told him I'd see him next year. His mother smiled and said I could be his teacher then. Before he went we took a group photo. This was a complex affair but gave good results. Him and his parents left gradually. I finally waved a for the last time with the now common sentiment regarding next year. Honda was gone.
We went back and more conversation ensued. During this I looked up to see Mitsuhiro in the kitchen, he was gesturing. I went over to see what it was about. With his normal childish smile he looked at Shikasaku and Tatsuya. We were going to go play with fireworks. We almost seemed to sneak out. We picked up fireworks from the box, a lantern and a bucket of water. We walked to the side of the road. This was the original group, minus Eiji and Mie, who had been present at the first lesson. We were like children, a fact made clearer when an old man told us to go closer to the river. We tried to look sorry and walked off giggling. We set up the first firework and watched it fly into the air. It fizzled and flew into shining pieces. The next was a roman candle. We set of half a dozen or more along with some sparklers. Not far away another small group was playing with some sparklers. We went back for more. This time we had more sparklers and a kind of burning wad of paper on a wire. It was meant to burn green and resemble a Japanese ghost. It did so after a lot of prompting with fire. Mitsuhiro was greeting every new combustion with a dramatic "Fantastic", a word I'd taught him months ago. We chased each other around with sparklers and joked. It was like something out of a poorly written summer film but we were all far too old. We ran up and down the path with our sparklers. Eventually the last one went out and we headed back.
Back in the apartment we rather graceless walked in. I sat down and talk resumed. Now I was the topic of discussion directly. I handled the question as best as I could. Chieko noticed the time and had to catch a train. She told me she would come with me to Narita. I told her I'd likely be going quite early and didn't want to cause her any trouble. This was waved away as silliness.
She left and soon after so did Takashi and his wife. Numbers dwindled but conversation didn't. I knew I should go soon to catch a train but ignored the thought. Kei served everyone a form of gumbo. Eiji was partly asleep on the floor and decided he had to go. He stood up and told me never to forget that we were good friends. A bow turned into a handshake which then began a hug. I waved him good-bye too.
Soon after me and Ozawa discussed the train times. I could still get back if we left soon. There was an offer to spend the night but I politely declined. We all shuffled outside, I took some photos and photos were taken of me. It was an awkward set of good-byes as any one celebrating an extended absence is. I shook hands, bowed and hugged. Mie reminded me that I'd see her and Tatsuya tomorrow at the flower arranging lesson. All in all it was surreal. I was saying good-bye but it seemed fake. Mie handed me a card that I would later open at home.
I walked to Shin-maruko with Meg, Ozawa and Shikasaku. We were quiet for most of it but I briefly discussed the local Sento and differences between it and anything in England.
When we reached the station Meg split off. I said a short good-bye before the remaining three of us headed to the platforms. Shikasaku was going the opposite direction so another good-bye was said. On my platform Ozawa told me where to transfer for the express to Shibuya. My train arrived and I said a the last good-bye of the evening.
Back in Shibuya I began to walk home. I probably could have caught the last train back to Ikebukuro but I didn't want to. I walked to Shinjuku and paused to buy and consume some Dango. As I walked the familiar route it began to rain. Unlike the previous storms of such magnitude I'd seen, there was no thunder or lightning. The streets flooded and I was soaked. The optical effect of the street lights reflecting off rainwater meant it seemed like all the rain was flowing straight into me.

I have never been happier.

Goodbye party

Phone post - Month six

It's down to the final few days.
I've just met up with some of Ontake and we're on the way to the party.

Packing

Today I packed. I took everything I'm unlikely to need before I leave and I put it all in my bag. Everything fits nicely with plenty of space. It's not too heavy and now my room is much clearer. Things are getting closer. I spent some time looking at flights for next year. Even almost a year in advance they seem to be about twice as much as this round trip.
In the afternoon Mie e-mailed telling me the plan for tomorrow. I'm to go to Shin-Maruko with my laptop. A slideshow of my time in Japan is going to be displayed on a projector. I've shown them my photos many times and there's always the ever present irony of showing a group of professional photographers my collection. This time it will be taking it to a new level.
There is also a problem in that I have to select a limited amount of photos. Creating a slideshow chronicling my time here which takes less than half an hour is difficult. That is without commentary, each slide running for less than three seconds and instant transitions my most limited selection so far takes just under fourteen minutes.
I cooked a simple pot of rice with two eggs and some cardamom. Later I found myself making three trips to separate shops for wagashi.
I'll be staying up late tonight trying to create a photographic selection.

Hyper retro

Today I did something that I've been putting off for months. I went to Super Potato. A place I had been saving for some deep reason unknown even to me. Legends told me it was a golden realm for my kind and nearly impossible to find. The second half of this turned out to be a load of crap.
I got up late and walked via Ochanomizu to Akihabara. It took me less than a minute to find Super potato with its standout store front. The sunny weather meant crowds were abound and the time of year means tourists were prevalent on the streets. Super Potato on the other hand was a quiet and dignified safe-house. Three floors up it began. The first room was dedicated to true retro. It was like some kind of dimly lit paradise. There were games I hadn't seen in over a decade, ones I'd only ever heard rumours about. Everywhere I looked I saw rarities, oddities and collectables. As far as I could see there was no individual device going above sixteen bits. Sixteen and eight bit machines may not sound impressive but every bit is made of a palpable form of glory. I closed my eyes and identified half a dozen pieces of music. There were playable stands, shelves filled with games and a million other things that any healthy person shouldn't recognise. I played the SNES demos for nearly an hour before moving to look at the actual game shelves. I began to find it almost scary just how many of them I've played. Among the dragon warrior games I felt at home, I recognised characters I haven't seen or played as in years. Memories flooded over me. I lack a certain drive, I generally wish to own things I can use. This means I enjoy retro games only if I can play them. If I can't play them then I feel they aren't truly part of any collection. This strange fusion of personality flaws is why I still have money. In some strange way I feel that just knowing the games are there and have not been permanently lost means I don't need to own them. As long as the game exists I always hope for a new edition, an upgrade or a compilation. Despite this I found myself tempted to buy a Famulator and spend all my money on games. I was partially wondering if I could justify this by only buying games that were never translated. I tore myself away and in an almost drunken state found I was looking at a wall of Wondersans and Neo Geo pockets. I realised what the pain in the back of my head was. I was in a situation where I could buy things I've always wanted. I was not in a situation where I could send them back in time. My philosophy in regards to games is that shit has never been as good as it is now. People complain that games aren't as good "these days" but give you an odd stare when you suggest they just play old games. The market is saturated with crap but it always has been. I have more and thirty years of joy to choose from. One of my biggest problems is simply that there is no way I can play all the games I want to because my life span isn't long enough.
I turned round to shield myself from the sheer power of retro-activated emotions. This backfired as I saw one of the most intriguing devices in the entire shop. They had a Virtual Boy set up in full glory. I did something I had only ever done once before. I played a Virtual Boy. Anyone who knows anything about the contraption knows that it's use leads to side effects reminiscent of those seen in Scanners.
Bācharu Bōi Wario Rando Awazon no Hihō was the game on display. As I played I didn't experienced any of the supposedly crippling headaches the VB is known for. What I did get was the chance to play a classic game with graphics that are still outstanding. The binocular system mixed with the use of stereo sound still holds up nearly thirteen years later. I felt like a child seeing an isometric view used for the time. The world I was seeing was real even if it was entirely made of distinct red pixels. This sapped a lot of time but I managed to back away and get upstairs.
I'm tempted to simply catalogue all the things I saw but that would be impossible. The next floor was less retro and equally awesome. It was largely taken up by Gameboy games, and fifth generation equipment. I played a variety of games before browsing the OSTs and GB games. This was a particularly sensitive area. I found countless titles that I'd waited for in my youth. Titles that were never translated or that I just forgot about after constant delays.
I played some Mario Kart and browsed the sixth generation materials. I found a Gamecube for a thousand yen fully packaged with original cables and controller. The controller alone would normally cost double that. I moved up to the final floor. It was a darkened room filled with cabinets. There were even slot machines. Cold drinks were on sale in retro-styled coke bottles and there were some benches near the blacked-out windows. Next to them were shelves of classic Manga. I sat down and began to read while immersed in nostalgic haze.
After a very long time I stood up and examined the throne made of cartridges before moving back down. I intended to make an exit but got held up on the fourth floor. While examining a Crystal edition Dreamcast a very loud conversation started next to me. It was in English but neither of the participants were fluent. An incredibly loud Italian man was asking strange questions about games. Mostly he was complaining about the price of the collectors editions. Knowing an outsider could drown in the retrogaming ocean, a retrocean if you will, I stepped in to help. The Italian man was rather disappointingly not dressed in a red shirt and blue dungarees. The conversation revealed that he didn't know anything about games but has played "the X-boxes" and "all of that" so I knew this was now a project. He had a list provided by a friend of gaming treasures to pick up. It was basically a generic list, the kind someone might find on a "top ten" site they had encountered via Google. He asked me about prices and what a "spine card" was. I told him it was the card in the spine of the case. The shop assistant seemed relieved that the inane questions weren't coming his way anymore. I translated prices into Euros for him which he then refuted telling me the prices were in fact several times what I had stated. I showed him the calculation but got another condescending response. I waited for him to work through his own mental calculations before telling him that one euro is several orders of magnitude larger and one yen. The exchange went on until he finally began to trust my advice. I examined the wares he was holding while answering questions about other games he needed to find. Once I had confirmed that the list was mostly complete and that the items he had gathered were of good quality he began a conversation. He was unbelievably nice and enthusiastic. He was also impossibly annoying. His accent sounded like he was actively mocking Italy and all things related to it. Everything about him was some kind of inane stereotype. Since he loved woman I directed him to Roppongi. I slowly backed away and watched him turn on the nearest clerk. A few minutes later a sudden comparative silence made me look up from a game of Dr Mario. He had left and the very second he stepped out the door it seemed that the machines that lined the walls flickered with relief.
Enthusiastic as he was, he had essentially blundered into the Smurf's village and complained about the lack of hot chicks and alcohol.
I played more games and found more treasures. After hours I left and headed over to Yodobashi camera. Here I found joy in the coffee samples and more Rythm Tengoku Gold. First I drank all the free samples of coffee while the nice women made me more and asked me where I was from. Then I watched a girl school her boyfriend at Rythm Tengoku Gold before deciding to school her, thus effectively schooling two people in one go via the transitive property of schooling.
After I was done I walked home s fast as I could. I paused only to buy more Daifuku and assorted wagashi pieces.

Hot Potato

Lotus blooms and good deeds

Today was a sedate day but it managed to include some excitement.
I got up at five to go to Ueno. Kei had told me that from five to eight in the morning the lotuses that fill the lake by the park bloom. I had only ever seen them in a state of decay so I wanted to see them at their best. I woke up to see a freakishly blue sky. It was almost painful to look at. I went via the yamanote line and soon enough I was walking to the lake. It was beautiful. Even without the blossoms it would have been so. Before it had been nothing but a wasteland of brown stalks, now it was luscious green and the water was rarely visible. Splashed among this perfect field were pink lotuses in various states of bloom. They were scattered seemingly randomly and retained the eerily plastic look that all lotuses do. I walked round the lake slowly taking pictures. The only people awake and out at this time were the retired. They walked around me saying hello to one another. It was already hot but I kept walking. Old men were taking photos so I joined them. They smiled and acknowledged me as some kind of comrade. They laughed when I jumped onto a stone to get a better view. I was slightly more agile than them.
Once I was done I decided I should walk to Akihabara. It was still too early for shops to open but I had nothing better to do. It wasn't far and soon I was walking through familiar but quiet streets. I stopped in the shade and began to play games for no real reason. Soon I got an e-mail from Chieko exclaiming that today was so incredibly clear that Fuji was visible from some tall buildings. I realised I should try and see it but I had no sense of desperation. I walked through Yodobashi cameras side section. It wasn't open yet but there was already a crowd. It was a crowd gathering for a small release event. Tales of Vesperia was out and this comparatively tiny event was celebrating it. I took a picture and sent an e-mail to Kotaku. I was later quoted and the picture was used.
I got back on the Yamanote line and went to Shinjuku. Here I moved quickly to the same building I've often used before. It had a good view and a free viewing section. I went up and saw the clearest view of the city I have yet seen. I could see all the way to the mountains. Since I was on the wrong side to see Fuji I snuck into a restaurant that had yet to open and used their windows. I could indeed see it in the distance. My camera was incapable of picking it up but I saw it. I went up to the next floor and managed to blag my way into the esquire club. It wasn't yet open but I simply walked in and claimed I was a journalist. A podgy barman pointed at buildings while I nodded and took photos.
It was still far from midday so I had the whole city to choose from. I began walking towards main Shinjuku. I didn't get far before I noticed a bag sitting on the ground. I decided that as safe as Japan is I would go through the usual procedure. I sat nearby and watched it for a while. After ten minutes no one had come to collect it so I picked it up and began walking towards the security guards. They were clearly relaxing and practising drills. This meant they were yelling loudly and then laughing. One smiled at me when I arrived and I struggled to explain that I'd found the bag and was handing it to them. They got the gist and took my details. Then they asked me to watch while they went through it. I obliged and watched them check the contents of the bag while I witnessed. There were multiple cards and other means of ID. There was also a large amount of money. Not only was the wallet stuffed but there was a wage packet too. Everything was catalogued and written down while I watched and commented on how careless the woman who'd left it must have been. There was a brief pause once they were done while they walked on radios. One asked me if I was in a rush and I told him I'd be happy to stick around. I didn't need to wait more than a minute before I was instructed to follow one of them to the security office. We walked into the building and through some hallways. Before we reached the office I could see a worried young girl standing next to it who was obviously the careless girl in question.
There was a brief discussion and her bag was handed back. I was gestured to and explained. The girl announced that she spoke English and said thank you. The guard bowed out and went back to his business. This began an awkward phase. I smiled, bowed and began to walk away. While heading towards the escalator I could tell the girl was somewhere behind me. On the way up I noticed her somewhat stealthily getting on two people behind me. I was endeavouring not to notice and maintain my nonchalant method of escape. As I got on the next elevator she jumped out of my peripheral vision and yelled something in Japanese. This meant I had to wait until I got to the top and come back down again. I smiled maintained my look of dumb charm. She said something very fast in Japanese and all I could catch was that she wanted to "give me some gift". This made the situation a lot clearer so I did the obvious thing and explained that this was not necessary. This resulted in faster and slightly scarier Japanese. I continued to explain that the act of picking something up and carrying it a short distance is not one I expect to be paid for. The Japanese that came next was so fast that I didn't event recognise the general sounds. It also persisted for some time and involved several lightning fast bows. Once she had finished I stood very still and tried not to look scared. I could see that she was on the verge of tears. This created a dilemma as the chivalrous thing to do is to never accept money or reward for anything ever but it is also generally not supposed to make young ladies cry. Weep maybe but not just cry. I began to subtly step back towards the escalator while waving my arms about to indicate that my actions were no great deed and that the entire thing should be forgotten. I managed to get one foot on the escalator before she noticed my subtle retreat. She shot forward and literally punched my open gesturing hand. When her tiny fist retreated it had left three one thousand yen notes in my hand. I was dismayed but her timing was precise, I was now moving up the escalator against my will. She grinned maniacally, waved and then darted away into the underground complex. I switched escalators yet again but by the time I was down she was gone. I felt ambivalent. Good deeds are not supposed to be rewarded. The idea that they are is simply put forth by people who want to benefit by other peoples good deeds. If they are then they simply become deeds.
I walked out into the sunny day and considered that the whole process had taken me less than half an hour, involved no effort and had earned me three thousand yen. This would seem to indicate that doing good deeds is a wise career choice, something that simple observation defies.
I walked to the games building of Yodobashi camera. I didn't particularly want to buy but I did want to look. While here I found a clerk explaining to a woman that if she bought a DS in Japan it wouldn't work with games she might buy when she goes back to Italy. I awkwardly told him that he was mistaken. When challenged to demonstrate it's cross territorial abilities I produced my DS and showed it working with Japanese, American and European games. The woman then turned on me for answers and I had to explain that games from Japan tend to be in Japanese and games in Italy will generally be in Italian.
This counted as another good deed but luckily it remained one as it was not rewarded.
I killed time by playing Rythm Tengoku Gold on a demo station which was equipped with larger speakers. It's a game I am now strongly considering purchasing. From Yodobashi I walked round and found another game store. It was full of second hand merchandise and an hour was spent rummaging through boxes of last generation treasure.
After that I walked to Yoyogi park. I took a nap in the shade before exploring the back-streets of nearby Shibuya. After another nap I began to walk home. This ended up taking far longer than usual because I was struck by an intense craving. I wanted food, sweet food. I stopped in almost every shop I saw. Eventually I saw a ninety nine yen store. It was perfect for my needs. I bought a drink, some cookies, sweet bread, furikake, wagashi and eggs. I spent far more than I normally would but I felt I should. The previous night I had not only eaten the beautiful daifuku gifted to me by Ai but also found ten more on sale at half price. Recently I've been eating a huge amount, mainly because I'm trying to fulfil cravings I know I'll have when I leave. The problem is that every time I eat an anko filled treat I know it will make me crave them even more. I got home, ate my snacks and added two eggs to my rice. There is no better meal.

Lotus Blossoms and good deeds.

In front of the camera

At around ten this morning Mr Hanna called to ask if I would be able to substitute for him. Since I had plans for the early afternoon and had no idea where they might lead I turned him down. I told him I'd be coming by the collect my outstanding payment. A while later I finished getting dressed, packed my suit jacket, shirt and tie. I walked to Ikebukuro in the hot sun. It wasn't humid and the dry heat felt good.
In Ikebukuro I went to the Willbe offices and collected my payment as fast as possible. It took a few minutes but soon I had my money and I was in the station. From here I took the same journey as yesterday. I went back to the studio in Yukigaya-Otsuka. I arrived outside at about half one and saw Ai's small car and even smaller shoes. I waited just out of the sun and thought about everything I've done in the studio and all the times I've stood outside.
This silent reverie was interrupted when the door slid open and a surprised Ai asked for me to come in. Inside the shoot was largely set up. The lights were dim and she was almost done setting up the camera. She gestured to the sofa and glass of barley tea. I produced my jacket and shirt, when she saw the tie she seemed pleased. She was acting differently than usual. Normally she's intimidating. Even when she's working on a project in the background during lessons I'm always very aware she might be standing behind me. Today she was professional, I felt like I was being treated as some temperamental model. It felt like being a child.
She indicated I should get changed and in line with her professionalism even left the room while I put the shirt and tie on. I sat and watched as she finished her final preparations. Light levels were adjusted and test shots of herself were taken using instant film. Once it was all ready I put on my jacket and sat down in front of the camera. Her new and alarming meekness faded quickly. Mostly it was just like every other time someone has opted to include my Lovecraft inspired body into photographic art. I sat and stared at the camera. After each flash I would alter my pose slightly unless instructed not to or given a brand new one to try. Everything about it felt professional. The equipment was high grade and Ai acted without hesitation. Next she asked me to stand up. Once the camera was readjusted she began again. Behind the camera she looked happy.
Then she was done. She showed me some of the photos. She signed and dated one before handing it to me as a gift. Then she got me to sign the back of one. It felt a strange. I've been photographed for projects before and it always does. It felt nice to see the studio from the only perspective that had been left alien to me. Then she asked me what my favourite Japanese word was. The question was so out of place I thought I'd misunderstood her. I thought for a while. I like words, I obsess about words and I think about words. I thought of all the words I know and all the things I know about them. It was an impossible question so I said one I know I love. I said "Hotaru". She seemed to approve and I showed it to her in my small yet faithful dictionary. She wanted to take a picture of it and began setting up. In order to get the lighting right she opened the shutters and began using a large polystyrene sheet. While she fussed over this I noticed Mie was outside. She walked in with a smile and greeted us both. Ai kept working but explained to Mie what the project was about. She was taking portraits of people and accompanying them with their favourite words. I was the first.
Mie went and got a book. It was Ai's first book, pictures of São Paulo. All of them had bubbles drifting throughout the scenes. When I was looking at it I couldn't help but think about Eiji's book, Kei's food photos and all the art I'd seen lying around the studio over the months. I've always wanted to make art in some form but it defies me. I am not able to create. Being the subject of art doesn't feel the same but at least it puts me on the same planet. Even if I'm only the object and not the subject.
Ai seemed happy with her shots and began clearing away. I talked to Mie for a while before Kureha came in. He said a brief hello and left, saying he'd be at the party on Sunday. Ai thanked me in a professional manner and handed me a bag. It was a bag of Daifuku of the anko stuffed variety. She asked if I minded daifuku stuffed with anko. This was like asking a crack addict if he likes crack stuffed with super crack. I thanked her and felt the weight of the reassuringly heavy bag. Mie was going to the bank so we decided to walk to the station together. Before I left Ai told me she couldn't come on Sunday. I smiled and said that I'll see her in a year.
We walked through the heat and Mie told me about Ai's dreams of fame. I split off at the station and went back. I paued briefly in in Ikebukuro station to find what free samples I could in the food market. It was a good day for it and I found myself eating a good amount of chocolate, cake and other such items.
Then I went home.

Photos with Ai

Last lesson

It rained today. It rained starting early in the morning and persisted into the evening. It wasn't some kind of attempted rain either, it was full on torrential rain. At some point during the midmorning a man came and installed a new washing machine. All this mattered very little. Today was the day of my final lesson with the OnTake studio.
Once the time came I walked to Ikebukuro. I attempted to collect my payment from WillBe but Mr Hanna wasn't in the office. This mattered very little so I moved on to the station. The now very familiar journey took place and I ended up in Yukigaya-Otsuka. Since I was early and in the middle of a game I kept playing my DS in the station. This persisted for a while until I was shocked out of my lulled state. Meg was behind me. She told me she was going to Shinjuku but she would come back later. Since I was now well awake I walked to the studio. I could see Ozawa asleep on the sofa inside. I sat on the step. This was not strictly necessary as it never is but I've done it every week. It felt right. Just as usual a few moments passed before someone poked their head out. This time it was Mie. I went in and she left to buy drinks for later on. I sat quietly for a while before Mitsuhiro arrived. We talked and more people began to arrive. Ozawa　woke up. Mostly we talked until Eiji arrived, with dyed hair, shortly followed by Mie. Almost straight away the lesson began. I stuttered into life and I began fielding questions. It wasn't very organised but I taught them about tenses and ways to say things like "What do you find interesting about ____?" which are valuable things to have in their repertoire.
I typed up some phrases and saved them. Meg arrived back while we were mostly operating an open forum section of the lesson. Eiji was asking about my going away party which I currently know very little about. I was asked about what food I would like. I fumbled about before saying that anything and everything is great. Eiji had to leave and said he'd see me soon.
Tonight Okonomiyaki was going to be cooked. This was perfect, I couldn't think of a food I desired more. Mitsuhiro and Ozawa went to cook while Meg took advantage of me for some very specific phrases. She wanted to know some useful phrases for modelling sessions with foreign models. I taught her to ask people to do things like tilting their head and turning to the side. It was oddly surreal but enjoyable.
Disturbingly fast the first cake like serving of Okonomiyaki was up. We sat down and condiments were applied. There was also some tomato, corn, a Chinese salad style dish and some tofu with nato. I was handed a thick slice loaded with mayo, furikake and tonkatsu sauce. It was stupidly delicious. It's texture was like the best kind of American pancake yet it had all the best elements of savoury food.
The first one was devoured swiftly and the second one served. This we ate freestyle making it some kind of Okonomi-okonomiyaki. I was offered the first and last slice each time and couldn't resist accepting. I was also making sure to eat plenty of tofu. Slice after slice was eaten and accompanied by cold Hoppy. Mitushiro had been cooking and came in to ask if we'd want some yakisoba too. The answer was yes but I personally attribute this to my presence and the near burning aura of desire that surrounded me. The yakisoba had some kind of extra ingredient added which had been brought back from China by Ai. Meg sampled this and soon a rhythmic yell could be heard from next-door. It seemed it was rather spicy. Not long after spicy and delicious yakisoba was served up. I kept eating long after everyone else. Once there was nothing left we set to talking. Tatsuya had arrived half way through the meal so it felt like we had a full complement. Time was spent looking at guitars on the internet and discussing films. It was nice.
As time went on we realised we should move. Some time was wasted when Kei showed me a way to fold a thousand yen not so the man on the front appears to smile and frown. This amused me a little too much.
Once I'd stopped staring at money I stepped out of the studio. I realised this was the last time I'd leave as a teacher. Any emotional impact was softened by the fact I'll be going back in about twelve hours for a photo-shoot with Ai.
We walked slowly to the station in the cool air. The rain had solved the humidity problem so the weather was pleasant. I felt happy and content. It was my last lesson with them but not the last time I'll spent time with them.

Last Lesson

Mandarake and Flowers

The weather was hot and humid today. One of the first things I did was to order four videogames to my home address in England. They'll be there for my return. I needed to meet Mie at half four in Shinjuku so I set off hours early. It was a pleasant but uneventful walk until I got within sight of the main Shinjuku buildings. A girl was standing outside a McDonalds with a tray of coffee. She rather aggressively leapt in my way and smiled even more aggressively. She got half way through saying the word for "free" before I gripped a drink and sped away. A woman behind me followed suit and walked along side me. She struck up a fast and energetic conversation. Luckily I could understand her Japanese. She seemed incredibly enthusiastic and asked more than a dozen questions before we reached the shop she was going to.
Since I was early I finished the free ice coffee which had sparked the previous interaction and went to Yodobashi camera. I milled about for a bit in the air-conditioned haven before it was roughly time to go to the station. I spent a few minutes waiting by the Keio lines west exit before Mie popped up. She confirmed that she would be coming to the flower arranging lesson but first we were heading somewhere special. We were going to Nakano which is the location of Mandarake. I could write plenty about Mandarake but sufficed to say, it's has a lot of otaku stuff. We took the Chuo line and moved swiftly into the arcade and to the section that is Mandarake. It essentially takes up three floors and consists of over a dozen shops. First I took a side step into the main manga store. It was full of things I knew and things I didn't. Since I had the Mie with me I had to play the game even more carefully. The game is essentially trying not to wonder into an area of a shop which sells pornography. Variations of this game are played throughout the world and difficulty can vary from region to region.
Mie said she was going to wait upstairs and left me to explore. I ended up browsing the classic manga. There was a fine selection of Astro boy. I began moving in and out of shops while looking for nothing other than everything I could see. I found countless collectables and rare prizes.
After a time Mie came back and we went to another floor. I was tempted to buy things, lots and lots of things. I refrained knowing buying one thing would mean buying everything. One of the most tempting items was a keychain that would emit a videogame based noise when pressed. I was tempted to buy several and use them to provide my life with background noises. Particularly tempting were the Pac-man movement noise, the Zelda discovery tone and the Mario coin grab. Finally we decided we should begin to move. We went back down and into the arcade. Mie said we should rest first so we went into a small place. She ate some wagashi while I ate some Tokoroten. Then we got the trains to Yoyogi. Lightning had delayed one line but this just meant we didn't take the express.
The skies were now dark and overly ominous so we didn't wait around in Yoyogi. I found the place quickly but we couldn't work the door to unlock it. This was easily solved by simply waiting for someone to come out and then slipping in. We quickly went up and knocked on the door. We were ushered inside and straight away began preparing things. It was Mie's first time so I managed to take the lead. There was only one other student left and she finished soon after we arrived. I was presented with some flowers my Teika-sensei and given the simple explanation that one was the subject and the other was the object. Mie had a nice drawing made for her and we both set to work.
The lesson went better than the previous one. I worked fast and remembered the rules. Soon I asked for a judging. I expected to watch my creation be dismantled and improved. Remarkably she did very little, my object was slightly too long but that was all. Praise was heaped on me and my new found abilities. As the lesson proceeded I refined my arrangement over and over while Mie did the same. Teika and and a woman I assume is her assistant were talking. I realised I now not only understand when people are talking about me but a lot of what they say.
Eventually we were done and I was praised more. I mentioned the stylistic differences between Japanese and English flower arranging. We cleared up and wrapped our flowers. It feels strange destroying such a delicate creation. Comfort comes from knowing that next time it will be better.
The three of us moved out of the room and down the stairs. We headed round the corner with smatterings of rain. We quickly tried several different eateries but all were full. Next we found somewhere next to the Docomo building. It was nice and we sat down together. Teika seemed to embrace the idea that I should drink what she drank. I did not protest. Cold beer was accompanied by a variety of treats. There was eel, vegetables with a sweet miso dip, some kind of cream cheese snack and pork. We ate and talked about food. Half way through Tatsuya arrived. He looked tired but happy. He told me he'd been working hard through the week. As we moved onto sake the talk turned to next year. Teika told me my Japanese was improving fast so I should set up an English flower arranging school in Shinjuku when I come back. They also grouped together and asked me what I'd eaten in Japan that I didn't like. I thought about it and realised I couldn't think of anything. This surprised but pleased them. After a long time the meal was over. We walked to the station and I said I'd see Mie and Tatsuya tomorrow. I turned to tell Teika I'd see her next week but she quickly told me she wouldn't be there. I realised this explained a lot about her manner during the evening. I smiled and simply told her next week would have to be next year.
I opted to walk home in the light rain. It felt good.

Mandarake and flowers

Taikai Hanabi

I knew tonight would be interesting. I was right.
I walked to Shinjuku in the early afternoon. I was there to meet Mie and we were going to Atsugi. There we would go to Ai's mother's house for a fireworks party. On the train Mie explained to me that Takashi would be joining us along with a young colleague. Also the house we were going to was essentially supposed to be some kind of crazy "mansion" and we'd all be sitting on the roof. The train took the better part of an hour with one transfer but we talked for most of the time. It was mostly Japanese conversation about food that I want to find in England. We spent a good twenty minutes just on Daifuku. As we got closer to Hon-Atsugi station I noticed more women wearing Yukata were turning getting on. Eventually we arrived at a very busy station. Mie asked a policeman for some directions and we went downstairs. It was full of people and police were directing them. We were ushered to one side while Mie made some arrangements by phone. She was trying to find Takashi. Soon we had arranged to meet him outside the My Life shop in the station. Minutes passed before another conversation revealed there is also one outside the station. I acted like some kind of gigantic hair beacon in the crowd and he found us easily. In tow he had a young woman. Some introductions were rushed through and I was told she had the western name Lisa. We began walking through the crowds. Mie and Takashi seemed glad to see each other. So glad that they walked slightly slower than me and Lisa but not so glad that they didn't watch us intently. This struck me as less than subtle.
Despite this attempt Lisa remained almost completely silent. My ever useful mask of wide eyed amazement at things like trees, rocks, the sky and any moving object managed to prevent any real awkward silence. Nonetheless this was hard to maintain when she was offering up an intent stare as response to any eye contact. Despite the two of us being in front we were diverted into a shop. We were going to buy some drink to take with us. I eyed up the drinks while things were discussed. I was now being left alone with Lisa again so I decided I should at least try for some kind of conversation. I asked if she liked wine and she said she sort of did. There was more silence during which I realised what it was she was staring at. It was my hair. I was relieved as I was beginning to think that my head was home to some amazing spectacle, possibly a travelling circus. From here conversation sped up. She asked me how old I was and gave the usual reaction. The surprise came when I found out how old she is. She's eighteen and later this month will be nineteen. I realised she's one of the youngest people I've actually met in social situations, not counting the small children I'd taught. She informed me we should move round to the packing area while the older two paid. I crammed the bottles into bags and we all began to walk out. Lisa announced to Takashi that we were now friends. She'd seemed impressed, even more than most people, that I can not only eat nato but also like it.
We went out and began walking down the street. A few yards later someone wearing a shockingly bright dress stopped their bike in front of us. I didn't recognise Ai straight away because of her new haircut and flamboyant dress. She greeted us in her usual fashion and we began walking to the party. Ai leapt on the chance to talk to me and began finding out when I was free.
She wants to take photos of me and it seems on Wednesday I'll be making a trip to the studio. Soon we were outside a small apartment block which as far as I know is owned by Ai's mother. We went upstairs and into the top floor apartment. For a start the apartment was bigger than most Japanese houses. The entrance was filled with knick-knackery made by Ai's mother. We walked through to the kitchen to find a table full of food and a dog. The dog was not a surprise. If I were to describe how Ai treats me in any way it would be that I am the dog and she is the owner. Luckily I'm at least a one of her favourite pets. She asked me to help carry the food up to the roof. By asked I mean she pointed at the food and then at the roof. Me and Takashi formed a chain and passed up fried squid, cucumber salad, ratatouille, Japanese style hamburgers and meat to be barbecued. Last of all were bottles of seasoning which Ai paused over. She paused because she was deciding how hard to throw them at me. Once this was done we all moved up to the roof. There were some guys up there and the mother I had been hearing so much about. After a short introduction I knew why Ai is Ai. It's because Ai's mother is Ai's mother. Then I helped carry a table up the stairs, the orders Ai gave me essentially went "Jamie, Jamie... fight fight fight.". A dogs life is strenuous yet simple.
Once we were all upstairs we sat down. Drinks were poured and food was put on plates. On the roof it was comparatively cool and the barbecue was heating up. Soon we were talking and more drinks were being poured. I was making use of the squid and the fresh beans. Soon the fireworks began. It was a different kind of display from English ones. English fireworks displays tend to involve letting off as many fireworks as possible off in a small space of time. This display was essentially a series of incredibly detailed fireworks being set of periodically. I managed to take almost no photos but this was because I was busy with the good company. I kept eating while time moved on. Lisa was rapidly getting drunk. She would whisper things to Takashi behind her fan. I realised their friendship was closer to a parental bond. He was like a doting father.
Ai turned her attention to me. This meant I got one of the most pleasant parts of being a big exotic animal. She was asking about food and seemed overjoyed when everyone informed her that I seem to love everything. I remembered the Epsite exhibition and her terrifying domination of Honda when he'd tried to eat something she had decided should be allotted to me. She heard I liked spicy food and her eyes burned. She jumped down the stairs and returned with a giant bowl of curry. Her mother was interested and through the night had been calling me Gaijinsan to everyone's amusement. She too wanted me to eat. Ai thrust a plate or curry and rice on me and refilled my drink. At this point some of the more complex fireworks were going off. They were no longer simple sphere-ring formations but were making peace signs and smily faces.



I ate my curry while Lisa sung high praise of my ability to consume food. She was now far gone and I noticed people attempting to move her in the direction of non-alcoholic drinks. Asahi cocktails were handed out and meat was now being delivered. It was nothing like English style barbecue. The meat was soft and marinaded. It was delicious and fresh.
By now Ai had handed me one of the serving plates. This meant I was now sitting in the middle of the group with a plate several times the size of anyone else's. This caused more comment from Lisa in a slightly terrifying and swaying manner. The fireworks were now coming to an end and Ai announced she had to go and get her "cute and wonderful assistant" before leaving to get Meg. I kept eating while others slowed. Ai's and her mother would check to make sure I was still eating every few minutes. Every time I ate something I essentially got a pat on the head. This was nice I enjoy eating with the need for outside reinforcement and was essentially getting a bonus. People had been arriving now and then through the night and there were quite a few of us on the roof. Meg arrived to applause and sat down to eat with us. At this point Lisa went to the bathroom which lead to the question I knew had been coming. I was asked what I thought of her and didn't pause before saying she seemed like a very nice young lady. This of course lead to other questions. Lisa came back during them and joined in. The mother asked me if I had a girlfriend and when I replied I didn't there was an uproar. Questions were asked far faster than I could answer in any language. A lot of them seemed to be rhetorical on my part and were answered by the group. Mie said that I didn't like girls and Ai announced I was gay before asking me if I was. Everyone was now interested and I tried to offer up the usual reply of "No but..." before being shouted down. All eyes were now on me so I went to my standby answer, "If it's not unusual then I don't find it interesting." an answer that deflects yet encourages discussion. The ultimate conversational technique in that it doesn't stop the flow but merely gives you license to move it wherever you want. The technique works on almost everyone. Ai is nowhere near everyone and I was faced with two of her. She wanted more information, details, times, places, descriptions. She pointed out that I was sitting next to Meg and peoples decided this meant we were practically an old married couple. Then came the really scary question. Every man fears being asked "Which of us do you prefer?" but having Ai ask would be scary enough while not on a roof. There was no true answer to give so I paused. Silence ruled over everything, the fireworks were finished and so couldn't come to my rescue. I quietly said it was an interesting question and then complemented the food. Everyone laughed except for Ai who smiled but kept watching me.
Next there was some yakisoba. This served as a great distraction from the questioning. Ai and her mother acted in tandem while asking me if I was full. I managed to eat some more squid, curry, rice, cucumber, hamburgers and yakisoba. The discussion was moving on to the work at Samukawa and there was talk of fortunes. Lisa ran to her bag and pulled out some slips of paper. Three were thrust at me and I was made to choose. I picked the most prominent one and was swiftly told I had picked the best one. Lisa told me it was a gift and should be put in my wallet so my pass case now holds in. Other less fortunate fortunes were handed out. I found myself edging away from Lisa. Nice as she was her habit of offering food and then literally showing it into peoples mouths was slightly alarming.
Since the train was going to take some time Mie announced we should make a move. Me, Mie, Takashi and the drunken Lisa began to go downstairs. Ai followed us and kept talking. Every few seconds she would check that I was full. While in retrospect I probably should have implied I was starving and lived off whatever she planned to give me until I leave. Instead I told her I was OK.
She told me she would see me on Wednesday and we walked off into the night. The route there was hindered by crowds but their bright clothes made them worthy of being in the way. In the station we waited for a train. I stood very still while Lisa danced haphazardly around me while tugging on my hair and asking me questions. They were mostly predictable so I answered quickly and efficiently. I don't have a girlfriend, I'm in Japan for my own amusement and I like Japanese food.
Mie and I got on an earlier train than Takashi and Lisa in order to save him embarrassment. He gave me an apologetic smile as we left which was was greeted with a wide smile.
On the train me and Mie talked about the rest of the OnTake studio. We talked about all the time we've spent together and how to celebrate my meaning. She told me Honda missed by beautiful eyes. I was about to argue but swiftly remembered Honda. It seemed like something he would say.
We got off at Shinjuku and I waved good-bye before walking home.

Hanabi

Nikko

I lurched out of my house on Thursday morning and headed to Akasuka. I wondered about until I found the main station. I enquired at the desk but was redirected to a small office round the side. Here I could purchase one of several foreigner-only tickets. I picked the "World Heritage" ticket. It was explained to me and I was told which train to take. Since this train was leaving in three minutes I walked swiftly back round into the station and up to my train. I flashed the ticket and walked along to the express cars. I sat down and watched the train fill with tourists, largely from Japan.
The train set off on it's long journey and I tried to either sleep or view the scenery for most of the trip. Sleeping didn't really seem like an option so I watched as the scenery changed from city to suburbs then rice fields to trees and finally trees to mountains. Mainland Japan doesn't have a rolling countryside but I personally don't mind the trade. Time went on as scenery flickered and mountains rose became commonplace. Eventually there was never anything approaching horizon. After a long time we arrived at Nikko. I had no idea what to do or where to go. I was surrounded by mountains and largely alone in the town. At the very least it was cooler at the higher altitude. I walked over to the World Heritage bus that I could take for free for two days. My ticket allowed me to move freely around Nikko by bus and to go between Nikko and Shin-Fujiwara as I pleased.
I took the bus to the sacred bridge at Shinkyo. It was very much what I'd expected it. It was a somewhat sacred looking bridge. I watched it for a while before moving up a random path. Nikko is rather small and this made my usual method of exploration, getting lost, rather difficult. I walked through the peaceful trees and stared at some shrines that were dotted about. Soon I arrived back at the road on the other side. I was right next to Rinnoji temple. The ticket gave me access to it along with Toshogou shrine and some of their more notable features. I exchanged my coupon at the desk and set about being a tourist. I walked up the steps and was ushered into the main temple. I won't deny it was impressive. I couldn't take photographs but it's hard to forget such a large concentration of gold. Huge statues of Buddha sat in silence as I wondered about in front of them. I kept going and found that aside from some smaller and more ornate statues this was it. There was a shop offering to sell me things loosely related to the temple and there was the exit. I moved on and quickly began walking towards the Toshogou shrine. Here I saw several things, most notably the three monkeys. They held the well known poses. A young girl was two locals about the "sleepy cat" sop I oblidged by transalting beofre wondering off.
Aside from that I found myself spending most of my time looking at the unbelievably detailed carvings and painting of the buildings. I looked rather odd as no one else seemed to have noticed or simply didn't care. I went and viewed the famous dragon ceiling and listened as a man demonstrated the rooms sonorous qualities by making annoying noises with wood. I walked through the shrines in a mild daze. It was all very nice but I found myself almost completely drawn in by the actual buildings and not the tourism aspects. Once I had viewed everything my ticket allowed me to I moved down to Taiyuin Mausoleum. I preferred this, while the main shrine hadn't been crowded this was almost deserted. There was one very loud woman who was clearly from California but her voice wasn't overly unpleasant. Despite trying not to overhear it became apparent she was here to get back to her roots as her parents had migrated from Japan to America before she was born. It was also apparent they had taught her nothing about Japan but she seemed curious which was more important.
I moved past her and up the steps. Inside was quieter. I noticed that they were selling things here too including what appeared me be some kind of fake golden arrow. The priest showed it to me and announced in a mysterious tone that it was the arrow of the dragon. His Japanese was clearly meant to mystify and amaze me. "Dragon? Sorry but my sign is the serpent." I replied. This earned a wide smile and a firm handshake.
I went down the steps and out into the main area of Nikko. I'd now seen the main sites and it was about four in the afternoon. My ticket was valid for two days so I didn't plan to just spend half a day there. I decided I would go to Kinugawa-onsen. I had no plans to visit an onsen but it sounded interesting. I got on the train back to Shimi-imaichi, surprised a man by speaking Japanese and got on an express train. The man had been gossping with the lady who ran the platoform store. THey had clearly seen me comming and he'd asked her to observe as he single handedly helped me. The instant I replied in Japanese they both laughed. I gave them a wide grin and thanked him for his help.
Since I wasn't supposed to be on an express train there was an interesting moment where I essentially hid underneath a seat while the ticket collector passed. I got off and went to the tourism office. My first question was essentially "I've heard there are monkeys, are there monkeys?" this was met with some consideration and an affirmative. There was a monkey park but I gathered now was not the best time of year for it and it was closed. I decided I might as well just wonder around until it opened in fifteen hours. Out front was a small open air, and free, hot pool for soaking your feet. I went and sat down by it. It felt nice but I knew it was only temporary. It turned off at five but the water remained warm for hours. I spent the evening simply observing the town. In the early evening I bought myself some wagashi and ate it by the fountains before taking a walk. I found a variety of nice looking hotels none of which I planned to use. A young boy was taking his rabbit for a walk in the twilight and people were closing up their shops.
Once it got dark it got colder so I sat on a bundle of newspapers while periodically taking walks to keep warm. At one point a middle aged man came out of a small ramen place and struck up conversation. My Japanese was awful and his was that of a man who's in a ramen place at three in the morning on a week day. Mostly we talked about how beautiful the street lights were on the small street. Time passed and his wife yelled at him to get in the car. He sighed and bowed briefly before walking towards his angry looking spouse.
Time passed very slowly and it wasn't until around four that it began to get light. At around eight it began to get hot. Hints from across the sea told me there were monkeys in other locations and without the need for a long bus trip and money. I took the trains back to Nikko and asked about getting to the Kegon falls. My ticket didn't give me free travel to them but I decided to go anyway. I fought back money panics and got on the bus. It headed up the mountains at a slow pace and every once in a shockingly vast view of the mountains could be seen through the trees. I got off at the last stop which was Chūzenji. There were signs telling me not to feed the monkeys. The monkeys were nowhere to be seen so this was not a problem. I walked a few hundred meters to the falls. This was what I wanted to see more than the shrines and temples. I've seen shrines, temples, portable shrines, statues and countless other things. I wanted to see something big, impressive yet not crafted. The falls are known as a suicide hot spot. I looked at the near hundred meter drop and knew why. If a person wanted to end their life, something I consider to be an act of selfish cowardice, then the falls were certainly a good choice of location. I stumbled back round to the lake. It was vast and the clouds were circling the mountains. I felt a moment of regret that I hadn't come in winter. Then I remembered all the things I had done in winter and knew that regret is for idiots.
I wondered around for an hour or so before catching a bus back. Once I reached Nikko I took a short look around before going to the station. An hour later the train arrived and I could go home. I got on and tried to pass the time with games only to find my battery completely drained. I made do with the sight of mountains rising and falling like smoke in a storm.
Back in Asakusa I realised I was incredibly tired. I took the subways to avoid the hot streets. I back to Gokokuji and paused to buy more Furikake. In the apartment I began a large bowl of rice. During this the tiny new member of the apartment began cooking too. It was essentially a long awkward silence. Once my rice was cooked I retreated to my room. A few minutes later a nervous knock came. It was very obviously nervous because it was a single knock followed by complete silence. I got up slowly and answered the door. She stood as tiny as ever and asked "Did you just make rice?", a question which stalled me for a moment. "Yes... well it had furikake... why?" was my confused reply, "Is it enough?" was her follow up question. This was confusing me. Some muddled questions later revealed that she wanted to know if I could subsist on rice alone, she had been cooking meat and wanted to know if I'd like some. In some kind of suspicious trance I accepted some of the minced pork from the pot she was holding. I thanked her while still offering a suspicious look and ate some of it. It was really good. Garlic and onion filled it with flavour and reminded me that my trip to Nikko had caused a few meals to be skipped.
I went back to watching my laptop only to realise I wanted another bowl of rice. While cooking I decided I should try and strike up a conversation. In short she's from Taiwan, a place that will forever be "where all the toys come from" to me, called Kai and has decided to start learning Japanese. She works part time at Waseda. In the end I found that she knew little about music or film and showed both her and Robin the first part of Gotham Knight. The evening progressed in a strange manner. Mostly I just sat and showed her photos while she asked me questions. Then she watched me play videogames. Then she asked me where she should go in Tokyo and what England was like. I was mostly confused by this point but confusing things tend to be interesting things. This was only briefly interupted by her going to get some food before the shops closed and returning with music she wanted me to listen to.
She looked tired and I told her it was now half one in the morning. She grudgingly admitted she should sleep before wondering upstairs. All in all we must have spent about six hours together. This seemed odd considering we she hadn't even made eye contact since moving in. I leave in under two weeks and she leaves two weeks later. I realised that maybe I'm lucky. Tokyo would be a lonely place if my situation was different or if I needed more human contact. I wondered if maybe she'd just wanted a person to talk to, even if that person was a monster like me.

Nikko